ashleyweis23@gmail.com
1 Corinthians 13:5 "Love is… not self-seeking"
Rain is dripping down the window as I sit here with tears dripping down the window of my eyes. Lost again. Somehow I have developed a pure hate for
selfishness, and in the process I have created an irrefutable need to pursue selflessness.
There behind the pain and loneliness of saying "No" to earthly desires stands Jesus Christ. As I sit here pondering my future with tears pouring down
my face I realize that things do not have to be the way I want them. It's not about me. Yes, I must live in this world, but if I were to say that something on this
earth was so important to me that I must cry about it until I get my way, than it obviously holds more significance than Christ.
My husband and I are determining plans for our future. A baby is not far off in sight, and suddenly he gets faced with a contract with his band. Life
suddenly slips off the track. The train comes to a halt and the suspense is sickening.
Then it hits me. The way I feel about my husband is the way God feels about us. Here we are living selfish dreams and desires. Following passions
and pursuing our biggest hopes. Saturating ourselves in the lies of the world and cleansing ourselves with its filth. Yet, there His head falls on that cross.
His hands pierced with our dreams and desires. His sacrifice made complete so that we could be free to do "what we want" and be forgiven when we turn to
the face of God in repentance.
It just doesn't seem fair, does it? It doesn't seem fair to constantly live in sacrifice. Someone recently told me, "Marriage isn't about sacrifice, it's about
compromise." But is it really?
When Christ died for us did he make a compromise? Did He say, "Yes, my beloved, I will die for you but only if you die for me?" No. Sadly enough, He
died for us without asking anything in return. He sacrificed His life to save our lives. Nothing expected in return. Nothing at all.
So why, if we are expected to love others with that same love, do we expect something in return? Why do we feel that others are to compromise with us?
Love is not a 50/50 agreement. This is a choice to lay your life down and forget your desires. Leave them behind. It's not about me. It's not about my husband.
It's about God.
Copyright Ashley Weis
